I have a confession to make.

Are you ready?

I’m ready.

I’m seeing…

A therapist.

There, it’s out.

As social service professionals, it seems easy for us to say to clients.

Maybe you should talk to someone.

But do you?

The point of this article isn’t to fault you for not having a therapist.

But I hope it prompts you to think:

• Why do I not talk to a professional (no, your dog is not an option!)
• How you can see therapy
• How to make therapy work

Why do I not talk to someone?

For all the stuff I say about being open, vulnerable and motivated to seek help, I don’t do that very readily myself.

I remember the first time a friend encouraged me to seek help.

But I’m okay! I’m really fine!

I was (not) fine. I really hated the sense of earning so little money, whilst working so hard. It came to a point where I was regularly checking the stock prices of shares like Boustead, and I started questioning myself whether I was crazy. 

As a professionals, maintaining the semblance of being okay is crucial for your continued work.

After all, you can’t possibly tell someone, ‘I can help you’ when you’re struggling to help yourself. There’s that story on airlines of putting on your own mask before helping your child or loved one.

Same idea.

You don’t talk, because you’re okay.

Or you think you’re okay.

Because it’s scary, isn’t it?

To tell yourself, that actually, you’re not okay.

And you need help.

Because you’re overwhelmed.

You see client after client, day after day. It’s easy to let the busywork distract you from your own needs.

After all, things can’t be that serious if you’re still managing to maintain your practice and see clients.

It can be easy to get stuck in the day to day, and tell yourself,

Things take time. As long as I give myself time, whatever I feel is going to be okay.

That’s not true. This isn't a stock investment like LHN that needs time to turnaround. 

It's your emotions. You need to get some support to this time. 

Things take time, if there’s support to that time.

How to see therapy

It’s not a crisis service. It’s a preventative service.

You’re the professional. You probably know this more than me.

Therapy is best accessed when you’re not in crisis.

I used to see therapy with a timeline.

5 sessions and I’m out of here!

Well, it’s been 5 years.

And I’m still not out.

Therapy is not a crisis service. It’s best accessed when you’re not trying to deal with something difficult.

Rather, look at it as a mental workout.

That’s improving your fitness to face difficulties with increasingly more authority and panache.

It’s a mind manicure.

You go for a manicure?

Yup.

Think of therapy like a manicure for the mind. Just as you regularly trim your nails, you also need to regularly trim the stuff out of your mind.

When you see clients, you inevitably take on their emotions, pains and problems. This can weigh on your own ability to see the world through brighter glasses.

When I started my first placement in social work, I started noticing problems everywhere.

When you’re dealing with the most vulnerable in society, it’s tempting to think that the whole world is like this.

It’s not.

Having that manicure for your mind helps to excise the thought that you always need to be fixing someone. Or that there are things that need to be fixed.

Rather, you might need some fixing too.

Give yourself a manicure.

It was doing therapy that allowed me to eventually build a content agency, even amidst the stressors of COVID. 

How to make therapy work

Be a client.

You know those clients who bring you research and suggest ways for you to try?

Maybe they tell you,

Oh I might prefer CBT.

I’m not sure if my meds are working.

Should I tell my doctor to reduce the dosage?

Don’t be that client. Yes, I know you’re a professional yourself.

You might even have more expertise, knowledge or degrees than your therapist.

Mind you, you’re the client.

Respect the therapist.

When I start therapy, my therapist suggested I take the medications the psychiatrist prescribed.

No! I don’t want to depend on meds to regulate my mood!

Surrendering to the process seems impossible.

It’s saying,

I have no control over this anymore.

I submit.

It’s easy to see professionals as hampering our recovery.

You think you know better.

But when we fight against a professional’s effort for our recover, you fight your own recovery.

You stop your own recover.

Surrender to your recovery.

Learning to let go

Once, I was teaching a student some communication skills.

She started sharing about her desire to build confidence for her recovery from an anxiety disorder.

How important our lessons had been for her in this journey.

I wasn’t sure what to say.

I hope someday, you can lift your head to the sky, taste the sky, and feel alive again.

Her eyes started running.

I started tearing myself.

Sometimes, letting go, and lifting your head from the minutiae of the recovery process can seem crazy. But it’s when you lift your gaze from the painful, slow process of recovery that you can see the sky again.

And feel alive again.

By-line

John loves dogs. When he’s not playing with his dog, he's running content agency Media Lede, which focuses on building better annual reports for companies.